Queer Spirituality

Being queer is an inherently spiritual experience.

I hear so many people claim that being non-heteronormative is sinful or disqualifies you from being a yogi/tantric practitioner. There is a tremendous bias to view opposite-sex pairing as being more holy or sacred then same-sex.

This viewpoint is limited and flat-out wrong.

Being born queer is an incredibly powerful spiritual attunement. Why? Because you are immediately an outsider. A queer person exists outside the norms and boundaries of regular life—we live in an in-between world that defies traditional societal conventions. By being a natural outsider, we are easily able to attain an awareness of alternative states of being. We are the wilders, the boundary-pushers, the shamans, the healers, the sages. We are the ones who break out of the mold that society creates and sees another way.

Throughout history, it has been the outsiders who have forged the spiritual paths—those who have bucked the system. By having a vantage that is not focused on how things are, but how they could be, we are able to envision something greater. We are able to see a world of possibilities—more aligned and harmonious than this current one. We are able to see conventions in a way that those immeshed in a culture cannot. 

We are dangerous and deviant. But, so too, have been all the greatest spiritual teachers throughout history. They are the ones who recognize that this world is a dream—and most people are sleeping. Most people don’t realize how ridiculous this life is. We queer folk, do. We realize that it is all a game. We are all playing “dress up,” pretend, and make-believe. We see the facades that everyone is creating—and we choose to participate if/how/when we choose.

We exist outside of societal norms—we break the rules. We know what it feels like to be rejected, divorced from the safety of our family units, to risk being outcast. That sorrow is our strength. By knowing the depths of possible despair of the human experience, we are unflappable. When you risk losing everything for being who you are—you become unbreakable. You become something so much more than a regular person—you know your worth. When you know the highs and lows of human existence—you gain a clearer vantage of this game.

We queers are energetically balanced within ourselves. Non-queer, heteronormative people require their polar opposite to come into balance. Man needs woman as day needs night, summer needs winter, or high tide needs low. But we queers do not. We have polarity existing within us—we inhabit both the world of the masculine and the feminine, the sacred and the profane, the hellish and the holy. We walk between worlds but exist in neither. We can shift our balance to compliment partners and people with whom we interact—if we wish to pull more on our masculine energy, we can. If we need our feminine, we can do that too.

This is why those who say that only straight practitioners can truly practice yoga are misguided. Shiva and Shakti already unite within us—we are already whole, balanced, and connected. Yes, I can choose to have sex with a woman—and find energetic balance there. But I can also have sex with a man—and we each hold that balance together. It doesn’t matter. Divinity exists within us all—all are holy.

Further, it is my spiritual tradition to believe that everything is sacred. The sky, the earth, animals, humans, food, water, excrement…it doesn’t matter. Everything is made by god, is god, comes back to god. There is nothing that can be inherently unholy—when everything is perfect, what could be wrong? You were made the way you were made—and it is exactly as it should be. How could anything be wrong about that? You are perfect just as you are—as is everyone else.

Yes, we can take actions that pull us away from that holiness. Yes, some things are closer to that innate state of divinity than others—but we are all pure consciousness manifest in flesh. No one is bad, sinful, dirty, or less-than. We are all radiant, beautiful creatures of spirit currently taking molecular form. You are perfect just the way you are.

There is no need to be anything other than you are. You are made as a reflection of god; you are beautiful. You are perfect.

Part of the reason there is so much suffering and self-abuse in the queer community is because we’ve lost touch with this knowledge. We think we are broken—we don’t know the secret: our uniqueness is our strength. By straddling two worlds, we are closer to the Almighty. We are missing our natural connection to the divine. We are missing our calling to be the natural healers, wise-people, and spiritual guides. We are the ones meant to be exploring the frontiers of the soul. This is why we party, drink, and fuck so much…it’s to numb that ache inside. We know that we are destined for something so much greater…but we cannot find what it is.

We queers are healers without sick patients. We are spirit guides without anyone to lead. We are shamans without anyone to transform. By missing our innate calling, we are falling into depression, sickness, and suicide. We need to recognize our spiritual roots and seek that fulfillment within.

We queers are an immensely sexual lot. We all have a tremendous amount of sexual energy. Instead of letting it dominate us, make us act out—we should harness it. Use that powerful life-force within us to manifest positive change in the world. Explode your sexual energy—let it fill you from your toes to your hair follicles. Let it transform into ambrosia. You crave sex and connection so much because that is what you were born to do—make love to the world. Your sexual energy can raise your vibration and the environments around you. You could erect cities with your lust, your passion. You just need to use it rather than fritter it away.

We are all sacred, beautiful beings. Heteronormative people are also sacred and beautiful—they are just different. Use what you’ve been given—grow into your potential. You are destined for so much more—live life fully. Embrace the discord. Dance in your oddities. Ecstatically celebrate what makes you unique.

Yogis have always been the outsiders—living on the fringes, shocking people. Some yogins would carry around human skulls as begging bowls, cover themselves with human ashes, howl from cremation grounds—all to scare those who were “normal.” To shock them and wake them up. We are supposed to be beyond the norms. When we are seeking the ecstatic divine—what is normal about that? We are wild, we are radiant. We are who we are. Celebrate what makes you, you.